Author Archives: Ed Anderson

About Ed Anderson

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I am "non-religious", not an atheist as some suppose, since after reading what I have written many wonder if I believe in "God", I just don't have a name for the concept, "God", nor do I have an origination story or theological mystery tour to stretch your faith. (I have no proof of what I believe and I wonder if my belief in "God" is supportable as I have increasing doubts.) I just can't accept an inflexible point of view that says, "I know what you need, and I know what you should know and here it is, you can have it too." Religionists present yet another obstacle to finding "truth" as they claim to have succeeded exclusively in finding it. Having been a part of the religious scene for years it is clear to me how easily duped we are to believe in something we have no proof of, has caused an abundance of divisions, and "territorialized" people into believers and non-believers. Furthermore, my belief in "God" equates to the larger perspective which includes an awareness of "God" in everything. I speculate at times whether or not consciousness is "God" So, my belief in "God" does not necessarily match up to the Christian/Judaeo tradition of a being existing somewhere in the beyond or in one's "heart". If there is a "God" he/she/it could be anywhere and in anything. Though I believe in God, it is not a belief in the God of Scripture. Too many “holes” in Scripture to satisfy my inquiring mind. It may indeed point me in the right direction but I find it not only unreliable but full of plagiaristic thought and re-writing of some of history’s interesting solutions. I much prefer to trust the minds of men and women who conjecture on the basis of what we now know of our universe than those men and women who trust the minds of ancient spiritual guides who, in turn, contributed to a book allegedly “inspired” by God. It is all unprovable, either side of this argument, but I prefer to invest most of my thinking in current ideas rather than those that show little support in logic. Do I hear an "Amen"?

Christianity for Everyone?

“The merits and services of Christianity have been industriously extolled by its hired advocates. Every Sunday its praises are sounded from myriads of pulpits. It enjoys the prestige of an ancient establishment and the comprehensive support of the State. It has the ear of rulers and the control of education. Every generation is suborned in its favor. Those who dissent from it are losers, those who oppose it are ostracised; while in the past, for century after century, it has replied to criticism with imprisonment, and to scepticism with the dungeon and the stake. By such means it has induced a general tendency to allow its pretensions without inquiry and its beneficence without proof.”

—Joseph Mazzini Wheeler, author, editor, and freethinker in his “Crimes of Christianity,” (1895) with G.W. Foote.


Kurt Vonnegut Quote

“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons…All they do is show you’ve been to college.” ― Kurt Vonnegut


Religious Luck

10390497_10202319061683975_394795106438037197_nWhere does religion come from? If not from God, as most religions seem to think of other religions as wrong and not from God, then it is from the people. Or, unless you deem yourself fortunate enough to be born in the right place and to the right people to have the right religion that God designed just for you. Wow! What unbelievable luck to be born to the right people and the right religion at the right time and in the right country. Can you believe it? Seems a bit far-fetched don’t you agree?


The Do’s and Don’ts About Prayer


Denying My Christian Faith So I Can “Carry” and Go to War

One of the most perplexing issues to me as an observer of those who call themselves “Christian” is the rationalizations put forward by the “washed” to carry, conceal and make war (not necessarily defensive but preemptive or aggressive war). I am also confused by the attitude that would take down or frustrate those who think, look or act differently than themselves, such as Muslims, Gays and atheists. How is this kind of thought and behavior process Christian? Blindly following one’s own desires at the expense of true discipleship seems to me far too common among those who would call themselves followers of Christ. I see it as hypocritical and worthy of damnation.

Where are the true believers, the one’s who are consistent with their faith and platform? Where are the lovers of men and women who reach out without agenda to those who pose a religious and philosophical difference to their own? And, who are those who set themselves up as authorities regarding the truth, who argue passionately and arrogantly that they know anyone else’s religion is specious when compared to theirs? I am appalled and angered by the lack of compassion for those who see, hear, feel and think about religion, politics and living one’s life different than the professed masses of Jesus followers. This kind of prejudicial and convenient/inconvenient thinking has to stop or we will be at each other’s throats until we are no more, or is that what Christians want?


Coercion and Universalism

There is a tendency in the religious community to universalize spiritual experience. As if to say that when one comes to a new revelation it is imperative everyone/many/most have a similar or identical awareness. This is what most disagreements amount to and is the foundation of most wars. It is unfortunate that when one sees a glimmer of spiritual light in a different color one finds themselves looking into the stained glass window rather than out.

For some reason, human beings cannot tolerate differing viewpoints without mild to major frustration and feel the need to use coercion on those judged apart. Latent to blatant use of tactics made to impress, manipulate or force harmonized thinking are implemented to bring back those who have “fallen away.” Independent thinking and personal responsibility are sacrificed for the comfort of the larger group. Trusting one’s self to have determined a path, that for them/us is the right path, even in the face of opposing and often contrary traditional and sentimental thinking is very difficult and often results in self-doubt. Often the end result is conceding to those who, because of their greater numbers, appear to know the truth. 

I encourage exploration into one’s faith and thinking, even if it takes you on paths you never knew existed and feel unprepared to explore. Find them out for your self. Do not take the word of others, including this writer, but explore the “truth” by asking the basic questions. Finding the truth for yourself is not easy work. It will be a challenge. The easy way out is to accept what you have been told without raising questions about it. Don’t succumb to that line of reasoning as you will have nothing in the end.

 

You Believe What?

The following argument is in response to a person proposing a proof of God he had recently discovered, finding it to be a satisfactory proof. John Loftus responds as follows:

“Is this why you believe? Surely not, because you believed before ever hearing of this argument. So tell me why you first believed. That is much more interesting to me. I want to know what brought you to believe in the first place. Which religious or non-religious options did you consider before choosing Christianity? What program of study did you follow in doing so? What works of a skeptical nature did you consider before making your choice?” – John Loftus

Merely accepting what parents, friends and family believe is not proof of anything, let alone Christianity.


The Christ

A quote from “Let the Great World Spin” a novel by Colum McCann…

“Corrigan told me once that Christ was quite easy to understand. He went where He was supposed to go. He stayed where He was needed. He took little or nothing along, a pair of sandals, a bit of a shirt, a few odds and ends to stave off the loneliness. He never rejected the world. If He had rejected it, He would have been rejecting mystery. And if He rejected mystery, He would have been rejecting faith.”


Complications

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With a fall wedding planned, an Envoys, “Just Returned from Europe” tour was the thing to do for the summer. We were a dynamic group, changing piano players and hiring singers as necessary, but now we seemed to have hit a magic combination and hoped the group would be stabilized, at least for a few years to come. For most of my adult musical career I had hoped to take on enough talent to make up a quartet, as a trio seemed a bit weak to me in stage sound. Now, with the right personnel in place we were able to add an anchored, macho sound that could fill any auditorium with a spectrum of vocal gymnastics from tenor to bass. Our sound system never sounded so good. The group stood across the stage, approaching microphones on stands to sing while dressed in matching tailored suits and ties. Our piano player smiled at the keys, intermittently turning his face to the crowd to dazzle them with keyboard show biz. Every bit of our music came from vocals and piano; there were no sidemen, no back-up tapes, no extras. We were it, the whole show! It must have sounded good as our record sales continued to grow. Fortunately for us, our fans wanted to take our music home on L.P.’s to play. What they might do with our autographed group photo was left up to our curious imaginations and better left unstated.

It was a bright new day when we were able to buy a vehicle to sleep the four of us. We proceeded to carve out sleeping areas in our newly purchased former Greyhound bus then converted it into a four bunk, three-compartment vehicle for riding, sleeping and “show-prep.” We had now become a roving advertisement on every highway we travelled with our 20-foot side sign that read proudly, “The Envoys.” Travel habits were forced to change as we often showed up to concerts with the smell of diesel fumes and blackened grease on our bodies and stage wear. No matter. We forged ahead in our bus eventually learning the nuances of caring for a fifth mouth on the road. Our bus needed constant fuel and moderate attention. But we were riding in style and declaring to the world that we were here to stay. Well, maybe for a few more tours…

You would think the hours between gigs presented themselves as opportunities to challenge our minds. But exhausted as we were it seemed that little kept our attention beyond sleep. There were the lazy days of mindless chatter, dreaming of home and friends and far-away places. My brother, Rich, who later became a medical doctor, tried his best to keep his ample mind stimulated by reading Dostoevsky, Jung and Kierkegaard. There were days when all we did was watch the curtains sway then unfurl in a spasmodic power puff from the highway wind spraying the chasm of our metal monster. Except for Hawaii and Alaska, we inched our way across a well-worn map of most states in the Union crisscrossing familiar travel routes with regularity. Some of our fans lived on frequent routes we used giving us opportunity to make unscheduled stops for casual conversation. The bus always drew neighborly attention. On occasion, even police attention. When the police came we did our best to buy off the law officer with a bit of sweet talk, a tour of the bus and a collection of Envoy LP’s. Some took the bait, others looked grim and wrote the requisite ticket that stated our bus was not parked appropriately in suburbia.

Piling out of a bus to sing after skimming the road on tall tires, hovering over a non-powered steering wheel, plotting the route to the next predictably constructed church in some town of least resistance to our musical charms, was the sum-total of what we did day in and day out. We yearned for a day to recoup.

We liked the ocean. Returning to the sea one late night after a concert we thought it a great idea to park on a road adjacent to the ocean, as the breeze was intoxicating and the temperature a balmy bounce of freshness on our flesh. We slept contentedly with the sound of surf in our ears. But the light of a dawn sun attached itself to our vehicle in attack mode. It was not about to let go and we weren’t aware of our situation, sleeping soundly as we were. Like a lobster in an ever-warming pot we found ourselves near to baked before we awakened to the sound of surf closer than we wanted and an inside “hot tin roof” temperature. Our morning swim had to be delayed as we were forced to find a tree full of mature leaves to shade our metallic hell. In due time we cooled ourselves but lost vinyl recordings and an “RCA 44” vintage ribbon microphone to the oppressive heat.

On occasion, The Envoys and The Singing Kolendas staged appearances together. The Kolendas were a family group made up of Mom and Dad, three teen-age daughters and a son. Their “shtick” was emotional. Their music was a mix of old-time gospel and youth driven contemporary. The Gospel music went well, the contemporary stuff, not so well. Dad played bass guitar and his eldest daughter played piano and sang. The son was out front and center, the remaining two daughters sang their hearts out while pumping the audience for tears. There were moments when all music came to a stop as the emotion of the moment overcame one or the other. No one dared speak about it as it was like the AA “elephant in the room.” These young people were friendly and sexy, even a bit bawdy in dress, but the church people lapped it up like they were the personification of heaven itself. I can’t say that the Envoys, all single men, didn’t find it enchanting in its own way. Frankly, I think they may have been playing to our sensual side. We looked forward to these occasions when the two groups would perform on stage together. But, many good things come to a quick end. They exited our stage and we went on as before.

There weren’t many days left for the Envoys as a group. Rich was talking more and more about medical school; David and Chuck were thinking marriage, as I was. We kept it together for a couple years while each graduated and married. The final Envoys concert was in a church comprised of people we hardly knew in a town who knew us. Dismantling the equipment and shoving it in the bus one last time brought a kind of anger, disappointment, and melancholia to me. The memories flooded my mind while thinking of what could have been, about relocating the group to Indianapolis where the highway system seemed to suit our travel needs and the people receptive to our presentation.

That didn’t occur. The bus keys were turned over to another Gospel singer, the sound equipment, to a rival of ours. I was now married and needed to tend to the business of making a home and marriage, while still convinced the Gospel message would be my main source of inspiration. And it was, for many years to come. In fact, for most of my life. It was deeply buried in my psyche. I always believed I was destined to die with a Bible in my hand. So, off to seminary Margaret and I went. It was a major turn in my life as I planned to enter the Air Force as Chaplain and needed a seminary education for that to be possible. This was to be a new venture but this time would be with my wife, Margaret, at my side.

Seminary offered new challenges, the least of which were opportunities to hone my preaching skills on rural churches of minimal numbers. I was used to undeserved adulation of crowds who attended Envoy concerts. Now, no more adoring crowds. I was now a “nobody.” That was hard to take as I was no longer sought for an autograph or photo with the locals. It was now going to be hard work as guest preacher and pastor for the day.

While attending seminary we initially lived in a trailer just off a buzzing highway north of Boston. Several months later we ended up as live-in custodians to an apartment house in Lynn, MA, a few miles north of Boston. We learned a lot there as we dealt with people who had little means to support themselves and were, in some cases, social misfits looking for a good fit. It was there that I was expected to clean a porch on the 2nd floor full of bird droppings as it had now become part of my job as custodian. I don’t know for certain if there was a direct connection but a few months later I was in a hospital in Braintree treated for “pulmonary sarcoid”, a disease of the lungs that showed up in a physical exam x-ray when I tried to enter the Air Force as a Chaplain Candidate. My x-ray looked like I had been shot through with BB’s. I was disappointed as I believed that was the reason I went to Seminary in the first place. I desired to become a Chaplain in the Air Force. I never made it to the military but continued to do my work as a student in an evangelical institution of great reputation. I was duly impressed by the faculty who helped me gain yet another degree. While a student, I pastored a small church a few miles from the seminary that offered housing for Margaret and myself. I was deep into the ministry as profession.

As graduation approached and my M.Div. degree was now becoming a reality, I began to look at another seminary offering a doctorate in pastoral counseling and psychology. This degree established the direction of my professional career. I would later become a licensed psychologist and would practice under that rubric for years while keeping my ministry credentialing intact. As I neared completing my doctoral degree, the pastor of a city church in Boston, whom I had met at a small gathering where Billy Graham was speaker, asked me to join his staff and begin a counseling center in the heart of Boston. It was a church of great historicity and self-importance as it lived off its past reputation having hosted the likes of Presidents Roosevelt and Lincoln, to name a few who had occupied its pulpit. It had been a center for political conventions permitted by the church with a makeover for Sunday morning worship. I was told that lit cigars of a Saturday afternoon on the convention floor left their lingering smoke among the two balconies for the next-day worshippers to be reminded that this was a multi-function auditorium. In my day, the building was about one-third full with worshippers, the organ antiquated, its sounds majestic but seemed to come from a calliope out of the last century. The balconies echoed with memories of glories past and the burgundy tones of carpet against mahogany wooden panels set the tone for a lustrous worship experience.

Preaching from Tremont Temple’s pulpit with its heavy brass horizontal rail on four brass pillars, leaning on it to catch my breath while supporting my thoughts, and thinking about the esteemed men of the past who had preached from this spot, was a singular thrill for me. And I, I was supposed to preach sermons radiating confidence and assurance. I did my best.

I was told about the past glories of this place of worship and gave some thought as to how we might experience the crowds once again. Months later, taking my experience with musical performances of years past, I began a musical series called, “The Gospel Musical” later expanded to include “The Saturday Night Special.” One was traditional gospel music the other contemporary gospel music. You can easily guess which one was which. In any case, we packed the place over and over. So much so that we were forced to move a few of the concerts to Boston’s Symphony Hall. Packing out their place of worship on a Saturday night and sometimes, afternoon, was greeted with skepticism by the diaconate of the church who were suspicious of my motives. For most of the concerts, Margaret and I would open with several songs then I would take up the emceeing for the event. I was identified as the leader of this burgeoning ministry that drew people from all corners of New England. I was in my element.

During the time I spent in Boston I met a couple young men who introduced me to a couple other young men who eventually we called, The Brotherhood. All musicians, they were seeking a degree at Boston’s prestigious Berklee School of Music and were all Christian. As a self-taught musician, I was humbled by the musicianship of each of these young men. They effortlessly played circles around me but humbly took up their instruments to support me in my music. If I stumbled on my guitar, Mark, an outstanding guitarist and currently a leading studio musician in Nashville, would bail me out with stuff I never, ever thought of. I could only sit back in awe of what had just happened. And there were the vocals too. Some of them were aspiring songwriters who desired an audience. We attempted to make that a possibility within each concert.

The Brotherhood began to take the place of Ed and Margaret, my wife and I, doing the warm-up before each of our sponsored concerts. I remember two concerts in particular in Boston that had been sold out for weeks, as we had a current headliner drawing in the crowd. We knew this was going to be big. The Brotherhood had prepared for many weeks for this very special occasion.

Even though the counseling center grew moderately and the concerts gained momentum, it was time to leave. The Senior Pastor had announced his resignation. While trying to figure out what to do next, a call from the Midwest from an old roommate of mine moved us on to the next ministry opportunity.

Meanwhile, two children came along to bless our household. Ed and Mathias. Margaret became a stay-at-home mother while I explored these new opportunities. We left for the Midwest with certainty that this was to be a good move.


Being Kind

So many Gods, so many creeds,
So many paths that wind and wind,
When just the art of being kind
Is all this sad world needs.

—Ella Wheeler Wilcox, poet